Saturday, September 09, 2006
Im confused wit wat im goin thru ryte nw. Mixture of feelings welled up in me bt i juz dun gt y. I feel lonely sumtymes. Im scared. Im happy. I feel so lost. Its lyke as though im living in a jungle alone. Happy coz i gt de freedom to do anitin, watever i want in dere bt lonely coz dere's nuttin much i cud do n dere's no one dere wit me. Im ol alone. Bt den again..snap back to reality hani!! U fucking do haf frens and ur bf wit u. Dats de ting, I do haf great frens n a caring bf bt as u noe, im a family oriented gerl, i nid my family too, a lot. Family. Maybe dats wat im missing ryte nw, My family. Ouh god, suddenly reminisce of de past came back n i feel lyke crying. I really missed being able to go to de beach whenever we wanted. De unexpected n unplanned outings we usually had. N den ending up juz chilling at weird places, lyke Tanjong Rhu. haha! I missed dose tymes, where i cn be wit my family, spending tyme wit dem, juz sit n talk openly about anitin we want. My dads jokes n e kontol faces he lykes to mk dat mks me smile(even tho i sumtymes find it lame, very lame.) haha, nw u noe where de kontol side of me cm frm ah.. haha! My mums "keconfidenan". She's olwaes confident bout sumtin she thot was ryte, bt end up its a wrong ting. Den she'll react lyke as if she's ryte. Cute. haha.. Ayil's keselengean n de very little2 tings he will do dat cn juz irritate de hell out of me. Walaupun ape die buat tu tkde bersangkot-paot ngan aku. haha! N abg. I missed him de most. We used to share our problems n aniting la.. Eventho i didn't ask him if he has any probs, he'll juz cm to me n tell me everiting. Bt de ting about him dat i dun lyke is dat he lykes to borrow money frm me n nt returning it back to me. If u dun haf money, stay at home brother. Bt i dun really mind. Coz i love him. I love my family a lot. Lots of tings haf changed nw. Dere's communications breakdwn sumwhere sumhw in de family. Nw is lyke we duin tings on our own, Everi1 is lyke busy wit their own stuff. Dads olwaes busy werqing. Mum already gt a job in CGH as a porter. Brothers still in NS. Bt pop ready. So?? Hu crs if he pops ready? I still gts to mit him once a wk onli. Ayils olwaes at home bt he gt uder stuff to do olso. Lyke skewl, takraw.. N im olwaes outside coz i really cn't stand staying at home 24/7. Dere's nuttin much to do actualli. Im bored staying at home wit nobody at home to layan me. Mum is olwaes at home during daytyme bt most of de tyme she'll be sliping coz she's werqing nyteshift, so she nids dat tyme to slip n rest or she'll be tired wen she reaches her weq place.
Bt sumtymes i prefer it to be dis way. I noe tings change everyday n i cn accept dat. Its juz dat wen i feel lonely n bored n wen dere's really2 nuttin fer me to do at dat particular tyme lyke nw, i start to gt very emotional n i start to tink bout stuff lyke dis. Reminiscing bout de old tymes i had.. Ouh im sucha loser. Emo freak!?! Maybe i missed dem too much. urgh. I'll be olryte by tom. I guess, i hope so, ala conferm la.. haha! Actually, im feeling a lil bit better. Nw dat i olready let everiting out. Sheesh.. Blogging duz help mks me feel better. Still its better if i cud let out everyting to sumone as in a human being hu really crs to lend me their ears.. huahuahua.. Bt luq at de tyme nw, its 1am!? I cn't possibly mit any1 by dis tyme. Dads gonna shout at me fer sure. haha! ouhkay, im too shagged to carry on blogging. So dis is ol fer today. Nytey2!!
simple :]
11:16 PM
Friday, September 08, 2006
P.M.S.--urgh! i hate menses!!
De pain is juz unbearable. I hate it when it cums to menstrual cramps. Dis is lyke one of de worst. Urgh! De pain is lyke so sopidgtbnuhpuiuirbgariuyhuijbigrktinjg8ytgt5y7bp378y la.. Cn't do anitin, though i felt lyke punching my stomach. I even felt lyke crying la. Bt sumhw i cudn't. Cudn't even walk. I was lying on my bed without changing my position fer lyke two freaking hrs. I was ol de way in de 'sujud' position la. Dat was lyke after i took 2 tablets of Bismag. I tell u Bismags won't help. In fact, it mk tings worst. Mum told me to tk panadols instead. 10 mins after i took it, u noe wat i did? Eat! haha.. ey, de ting is i haf nt eaten since morning. Finally i cud gt out of bed n i walk!? N i even sew a belt out of dis remaining cloth i found in my closet. haha. I was juz bored. Was hoping dat heiqal wud call me coz he saed he'll be calling me when he gt home after training. So waited from de moment he put dwn de phone after he saed dat(07.30) till it cums to de end of de Singapore Idol result show(9.00) till my brother came home(10.00) till i finish sewing de belt n dad reaches hm frm werq(11.00). N still no sign of him. So i thot maybe he's still outside n dat i shud call him if i wanna noe where he was. So i did. N wen i did, u noe wat he saed? "Ouh, i baru je nak call u."--heiqal, dis line is so dramatic n LAME. Its nt dat i dun trust u, i felt lyke it was juz a cover up line u gt frm malaysian dramas?? Even if u didn't thot of calling me, juz tell me u 4gt. At least its more believable u see. N im nt angry okay. I am juz..i dun noe. N u were outside wen i called. As in u juz gt out of de house. So u've been at hm ol de while, duin wat i dun noe.. nxt tyme dun tell me u're gonna call me wen u noe dat u're nt gonna remember to call me coz i dun wanna waste my tyme waiting n hoping dat u might call me. wow dat was long. Anyway, im nt being a queen control or watever. Its juz dat wen u saed u'll call me wen u reach hm, i xpect u to call me. If its lyke 1 or 2 hrs late, i still won't mind. Bt dis is lyke, i tink if i never call, u prolly be calling me at 12? 1? or maybe tom? I feel lyke 1 gundu hu's waiting n waiting fer her bf to call her while her bf's duin wat, at where olso i dun noe.. Bt maybe he was really busy dat he 4gt to call me. Maybe i was juz overreacting. PMS la.. haha! Great, blame it ol on PMS. Urgh!!
simple :]
12:48 AM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
HEY-YA!! uh uh uh..it's been awhile since i last blogged. Been busy, Been lazy, so yah no new entrries lor.. hiak hiak hur hur(heiqal's laughter)--burok kan??
Today im suppose to fast n i did, like 3/5th of de day ready. Bt i had to break fast. *Roll Eyes*
Went to collect my pay fer de 2 days i worked last mth wit qal yesterday. Im broke! De amnt i gt is juz enuff fer de 3 days chalet. Hw i wish dere is sucha ting as MONEYplant, as in notes hanging like branches. 50 dollars,10,100.. Nah, dis kinda tings only exist in fairytales la.. Den we headed to tamp to mit de rest(Bib,An,Nys n Maz).
N we had......
nie sbelom dibuka.
Selepas dibuka!! yumyum! hmm dap2..
Altogether plus de drinks, it was $16.90. Tanx qal fer de Opeh! hiak hiak. N tanx hani fer de drinks! hee.. Reached home 10.50. I love u bongz!! I miz zul a lot.. Zul?? Where u?? I mish u.. N fi! laen kali sbelom gi London call aku leh?! aku tk ingat kan kau gi biler.. anuder bongz. haiz.. i mish u too.. k i nid panadols.
simple :]
4:53 PM
